rejection Archives - Page 2 of 5 - Paging Dr. NerdLove

Paging Dr. NerdLove Episode #63 – How Do You Respond to Rejection?

January 25, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove 100 Comments

One of the uncomfortable truths about dating is simple: you’re going to get rejected. No body – not Chris Evans, not Idris Elba, not Ryan Gosling or Mahershala Ali goes 5 for 5. The simple truth of the matter is that no matter how good looking you may be, how charming you are or how famous or rich you may be… some people just aren’t going to be into you, no matter what.

But while rejection can be scary and painful, learning how to handle rejection is a vital skill – and one that can dramatically affect the success of your love life. After all, a guy who can take rejection with good grace and still be a friendly, approachable and charming dude is someone who’s displaying not just keen emotional intelligence, but also rock-solid confidence.

However, knowing how to respond well to rejection has another benefit: sometimes – not always, but sometimes – you can turn that “no” into a “yes and that “go away” into “so… how about a drink.”

But only if you know the secret.

Show Highlights:

Why most men react the wrong way to getting rejected
Why the reason you get rejected ultimately doesn’t matter
The mistake most men make when they get rejected
Why you should stick around when you’ve been shot down
The key to turning a rejection around

…and so much more.

How To Handle Groups

5 Secrets To Make People Like You

How To Be Charming

5 Times You Shouldn’t Approach Women

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Like the podcast? Consider becoming a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Paging Dr. NerdLove Episode #52 – How To Conquer Your Fear of Rejection

November 2, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 15 Comments

Let’s say that you’re out – maybe you’re at a party, maybe you’re at a bar, maybe you’re killing some time between classes and you see somebody who is just amazing. They may be a perfect stranger, they may be someone you’ve had a crush on for a long time, who knows.

All you know is that there is now nothing you want more than just to go over and ask them out on a date. But before you can even start turning to walk over towards them, your heart starts to pound, your feet get heavy, your palms get sweaty and you’re trying really hard not to puke on your shoes. And of course, as all of this is going on, you’re imagining all the ways that this is going to go horribly, horribly wrong. You’re going to say the wrong thing. You’re going to creep her out. You’re going to get rejected so hard that it’s going to go back in time and split up your parents.

So while you’re standing there, petrified, someone else, someone who isn’t afraid, goes up and gets their number instead.

You probably wish you could be as fearless with women as that guy was… and you can. It’s not that the socially successful don’t feel anxiety, it’s that they know how to handle it. And so can you.

Listen Here
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Show Highlights:

The difference between people who are socially successful and socially awkward
The #1 mistake people make when dealing with their fears
How to use a quirk of human psychology to stop being afraid of rejection
The secret to controlling your fears
Why getting rejected isn’t something to be afraid of

…and so much more.

Related Links:

How To Deal With The Awkward – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/how-to-deal-with-the-awkward/

Facing Your Dating Fears – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/facing-your-dating-fears/

Stop Being Socially Awkward Pt. 1 – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/stop-socially-awkward-pt-1/

Stop Being Socially Awkward Pt. 2 – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/stop-socially-awkward-pt-2/

How To Be Fearless With Women – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/paging-dr-nerdlove-episode-34-learning-fearless-attractive-women/

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Consider becoming a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Stop Being Bitter About Rejection?

August 4, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 94 Comments

Hey Doc, I would like your advice on a problem that I have.

Since I graduated high school I came into my looks and as a result during college. I was quite popular with women even though I was really shy, however after college I started to bald severely nearly losing all the hair on the top of my head, gained some weight from 145-175 at 5’10 which gave me a gut and also started receiving wrinkles on my forehead and under my eyes. During this time period of about 2 years I went from getting constant attention to being practically invisible.

I can understand this because people have standards and what they define as attractive, however a lot of the time if I so much as made eye contact with a woman even on accident I would get nothing but the coldest stares back at me.

Sometimes I would even overhear them talk to their friends about that ‘creepy guy’ referring to me as there was no one else there that it could be. Now however I have been working out and getting in good shape, have had a lot of my hair restored through medication and have gotten rid of the wrinkles through a skin care regiment. As a result I seem to have gotten a lot of attention and just treated better overall from people. If I make eye contact now for example I get nothing but smiles so it is a bit embittering.

I would like advice on how to not let that get to me as I feel a tad bitter over the fact that I was treated so harshly and now that I have improved myself I am all of the sudden good enough for them. It definitely has created trust issues for me and not wanting to truly put myself out there seeing how shallow individuals can be.

– Second Time Around

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Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

July 31, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 344 Comments

One of the hardest things when it comes to dating is dealing with the fear of rejection. At times it can seem like everyone’s dating hang ups can be traced back to a fear of being rejected – from approach anxiety to Nice Guy behavior.

Can’t get rejected if you never approach anyone, ever.

The problem is that letting that fear control you means that you will never succeed. No matter who you are, rejection is going to be a part of your dating life. Everybody – no matter how famous, how handsome, how rich or how socially gifted – gets shot down. What makes the difference between the socially successful and the people who trundle from rejection to rejection are that the successful ones don’t let rejection destroy them. And while it can be difficult to face your fears, part of what helps makes them less all-consuming is to understand them.

So let’s get down to the roots of the fear of rejection.

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How To Get Over Her

May 16, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 212 Comments

Breakups and rejection are an inevitable part of dating. It doesn’t matter whether you’re absurdly hot or not, whether you’ve never had a date in your life or your social life puts Hugh Hefner’s to shame; you’re going to get your heart broken at some point or another. You’re going to be miserable. You’re going to feel like the one shot you had at love has gone and now you’re destined to never know anything other than pain. And one of the things that people are going to tell you over and over again is: “Dude, you need to get over her.”

"Damn, I knew I was forgetting something!" — “Damn, I *knew* I was forgetting something!”

Of course, if it were just so simple to get over someone, everyone would do it, right? Nobody’d be getting cases of Oneitis and getting hung up on their exes and we’d all just be laughing and dancing through fields of wildflowers, blissfully leaving the ruins of our hopes and dreams behind, tra la tra la.

Except… yeah, it is pretty simple. It’s not easy to get over someone, don’t get me wrong. But it is simple. The problem is that, more often than not, we’re making it harder to get over the pain. So if you’ve loved not wisely but well and had your heart torn out of your chest, it’s time to stop sabotaging your own recovery process. This isn’t going to be fun, but it is necessary It’s time to learn how to let go and get over her.

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