Dear Doctor Nerdlove,
I don’t know what to do. About half a year ago, I started hanging out with these two girls that lived a few floors down from me named, Jane and Lynne. I thought their roommate was cute, so I started hanging around their apartment. Although that didn’t work out, I ended up getting to know her roommates and we became really close friends. In fact, they are two of my best friends at the moment and I see them almost every day. However, there are issues with between myself and both of them that are beginning to strain the friendship I feel.
Lynne and I are very close. She’s a very fun and intelligent woman (one of the smartest I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting). I consider her boyfriend one of the luckiest guys on the planet. During the first month of our friendship I had a crush on Jane and Lynne was often the one who I would talk to about it. After just a week of talking, she had helped me plan out the perfect date and set me up for the perfect opportunity to ask Jane out. Unfortunately, Jane ended hooking up with another guy within that same week. At this point, Lynne and I had gotten so used to each other’s company that we would see each other every day and talk for several hours at a time.
Now as a personal policy I view taken women as off-limits, but as we spent more and more time together, I started to develop feelings for her. Around three months ago, it ended up coming up in a conversation and I told her that if she wasn’t with her boyfriend of three and a half years, I would want to be with her. To my surprise, she told me she felt the same way. I ended up talking to Jane regarding this and she revealed that she has had her eye on me since the first week I’ve known her. In fact, Jane even went so far as to say that I was “oblivious and stupid” for not noticing and that she’s always felt weird talking to me alone because she felt like she was “stealing from Lynne.” Ever since then, she’s been talking about breaking up with her boyfriend, but the last time she got close, she couldn’t go through with it.
Here’s where it gets complicated. According to my other friends and Lynne, Jane has taken a liking to me as well. It was actually kind of obvious to me even. She acts affectionate and playful towards me a lot of the time, and she likes to touch me. Not in a sexual way, but she likes to hit me or grab my hand. Anyways, my other friends encouraged me to ask her out, even though I thought she would say no. Even Lynne agreed with the idea, which I have to say hurt a bit. While I do not like Jane as much as I like Lynne, I finally gave into peer pressure and asked her out. As I expected, she said no. When I asked why, she said that she wasn’t what I wanted and that she couldn’t give me the affection I want.
Ever since then, things have been awkward and I’m afraid I’ve screwed the pooch on this one. Both Lynne and Jane have acted different towards me ever since. While Jane is already beginning to treat me the way she used to, I’m scared of losing Lynne as a friend. She hasn’t been acting any differently, but she hasn’t been coming up to see me as often. When we do see each other, I feel like something’s different or that she’s mad at me. At this point, I don’t know what to do. I think I upset her somewhere along the way, but I’m afraid if we talk about it we’ll say too much if you catch my drift.
Six of One