Dear Dr. NerdLove,
I have been with my boyfriend for over 12 years. We are happily in love, our sex life is great, and we are truly best friends as well as romantic partners in life. We bought our own home together in 2020 after living together since 2010. He does not want to get married due to his parents’ messy divorce left a sour and lingering taste in his mouth. I used to daydream about being married to him because he has been there for me in the worst times and best times. He knows how to make me happy when I’m having a bad day and he loves and is loved by my entire family and friends. I look at it more of a loving commitment –not a ring and a party. I have respected his decision about not getting married and I am now OK not being married (and honestly, after seeing how loyal, loving, and committed he is to me this entire time, what’s a piece of paper going to change?)
However, recently the last 2 of our big and close friend group have gotten engaged. And we are now the only couple still together within our entire friends group and family who are not engaged. People used to bother us about getting married but that fizzled away thankfully. I’m afraid this obvious elephant in the room will now rear it’s ugly head once again. I also can’t help but feel the tiniest pang of jealousy. I know I shouldn’t but it’s there no matter how much I try and push it away. What the hell is wrong with me and how do I deal with this?
Always The Bridesmaid