relationship maintenance Archives - Page 3 of 7

Paging Dr. NerdLove Minisode #20 – Fix It or Flee?

March 16, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Every relationship is going to have trouble. As long as you have two (or more) individuals in a relationship, you’re going to have conflicting interests and that will occasionally result in yelling and hurt feelings. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other or how compatible you are, you’re going to fight. That doesn’t mean that you don’t love them or that your relationship is over, it just means that you’re human, same as anyone else.

So how do tell which relationship conflicts are fixable and which are signs that the relationship is over?

Show Highlights:

Why couples stay together long after the relationship is already over
Why the honeymoon period ruins so many relationships
Understanding the issues every couple goes through
How to recognize whether problems are internal or external to the relationship
The most important question you can ask about fixing your relationship

…and so much more.

How To Argue With Your Girlfriend (Without Ruining Everything)

5 Questions to Ask Before You Start A Relationship

How To Stop Fighting (And Start Making Up)

What Couples Can Learn From Gomez and Morticia Addams

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes and on Stitcher.

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Making Your Long Distance Relationship Last

August 15, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 71 Comments

Relationships can be tricky to maintain under the best of circumstances. Long distance relationships, on the other hand, are even harder. When you and your partner are hundreds or thousands of miles apart then you’re dealing with new levels of difficulty. Long distance relationships are increasingly common these days as jobs and school make us increasingly nomadic. Advances in communication technology has become a big part of bridging the distance and keeping love alive. But just because you’re spending hours on Skype with your honeybunny doesn’t mean that you’re keeping your relationship alive and healthy.

Although at least this time you'll have video evidence of your "girlfriend who lives in Canada..." — Although at least this time you’ll have video evidence of your “girlfriend who lives in Canada…”

However, “difficult” doesn’t mean “impossible” and the challenge of making a relationship work doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it in the end. A long distance relationship can be incredibly rewarding and the skills needed to help it survive will also help when you’re in person again.

Here’s how you can make sure your relationship can go the distance.

[Read more…]

Are You Headed Towards A Breakup?

May 2, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 22 Comments

Over the course of your love life, you’re going to have to deal with a breakup. Sometimes you’ll see the breakup coming a mile away like an oncoming train and you’ll realize that there’s no getting around it. It’s going to happen and the only thing left to do is to brace yourself and try to figure out how to make it not suck as much.

But then there are the breakups that sneak up on you and hit you when you’re not looking. There’s nothing that delivers a nut-kick to your soul like a breakup that seems to come out of the clear blue sky. But while it may hit you out of the blue, breakups rarely happen in a vacuum. If you want to pull your relationship back from the brink, you want to keep an eye out for these warning signs that you’re headed to a breakup.

[Read more…]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Looking For Something Different

November 20, 2015 by Dr. NerdLove 15 Comments

Dear Dr. NerdLove,

I have re-written this letter a thousand times in my head and am still not sure it is one of the things that registers in the NerdLove realm, yet I feel you might be the only one who can help me with this… well, I hesitate to call it a problem as much as an unyielding curiosity.

Let me just begin by saying for my entire life I have dated in the hetero-realms. I got off to a slow start and hit a bullet train in the vis-a-vis dating world around late high school, with another acceleration happening in college. There are tons of stories there that I’d love to flesh out, but I’ll leave them for the sake of getting right to the point.

I am in a new city and am rediscovering myself as it pertains to finding friends, enjoying the hobbies I am into, etc. I hesitate to say it is going super well but it is going which I am perfectly happy with. My question is simple, and yet kind of touch and go and crazy and god knows what else: I have recently discovered that I have a very real desire to date and or sleep with trans women.

To be frank and clear, I am not attracted to dudes at all. That said, I am however finding that I could be VERY interested in being with a woman who… well, had a significant dude-part (as it were). Now, all of this is quite speculative. I have never been penetrated (pegging, etc whatever you want to call it) but I am very interested in the concept. I should also probably add that I have been single for quite some time and am by no means just swimming in dates that I could potentially attempt to vet with aggressively invasive questions a la “do you have a penis and, if no, do you own a strap on?”

My initial thought is that one would assert the sex positive aspect of this. While I don’t find this desire odd or weird at all, I am just not certain how to approach it. Where do you go or hangout to meet people? In what way do you express your lack of experience in combination with wanting to desperately give things a shot?

I must say that for all my social skills I am not sure how to approach this one. I have an easy enough time talking to women (though I do have to work on the whole “she is sending signals and you should get her number/ask her out” thing) but I feel like this is a multi-tiered dilemma. Any and all love of the nerd persuasion to this situation would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Seeking the Whole ‘Package’

[Read more…]

What To Do When You’ve Been Cheated On

October 26, 2015 by Dr. NerdLove 335 Comments

Out of the many perils that couples face over the course of their relationships, the specter of being cheated on is one of the most common – and most anxiety-producing.

The second worst anxiety is "Is my wife secretly a lizard person?" — The second worst anxiety is “Is my wife secretly a lizard person?”

Infidelity within a relationship is one of the few sins that almost everybody agrees as being always wrong – upwards of 80% of people will tell you so. And yet cheating and being cheated on happens far more frequently than one might expect. Exact numbers are hard to gather – as you might imagine, cheaters are unlikely to self-report, especially if friends or family members are around – but the estimated numbers range from 30% to a mind-boggling 70%.

But while being cheated on may be seen as a universal negative, the question of what to do when your partner’s been unfaithful is a tough one. It’s very easy to decide what to do in the abstract – drop them like a bad habit, destroy their shit, stand by your man, forgive and forget, etc – and to armchair quarterback other people’s marriages (see Clinton, Hillary). But when it’s your relationship… suddenly what seems clear-cut and simple is actually a lot more complicated.

So what’s the right choice when it comes to dealing with being cheated on? What is the best way to heal afterwards? If your partner cheats on you, is it better to adopt a zero-tolerance policy or to put it all behind you?

[Read more…]