Hey Doctor Awesomepuss, really love your blog.
I keep encountering this same issue with girls that I take on dates or girls who have expressed a certain degree of interest in me. The issue is they run off with other men in front of me.
I took a girl swing dancing a few weeks ago as a first date. We had a really fun first hour or two dancing, then this guy (who was a much more experienced dancer than me, swing has a steep learning curve) danced with her 4ish times in the span of 20 minutes, walking up to us when we were talking and whisking her away into a world of dips and spins. When I came back from a cigarette he was taking her into the side room (which is where I take girls when I want a more intimate environment). I told her that I wasn’t ok with what was going on and she insisted that it was alright because we weren’t in a relationship. She stopped dancing with him and spent the rest of the night with me, but she was cold and standoffish and the date ended not long after.
Last night I went out dancing at an EDM show and spent most of the night grinding up on a friend of a friend who was in town for the night. She pulled me away from dancing with other girls to dance with her and started being more physical with me after I told her she was attractive. I went for a kiss and she didn’t pull away but didn’t kiss back. There was a linebacker looking guy who occasionally stood on the periphery. After the show they started talking and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I took her to leave and at the exit linebacker found us. He made a joke about if he was allowed to shake her hand then the two of them started making out. I had no idea what to do and what I tried failed so I just went home.
Another girl a few months ago I met a campout expressed interest in a relationship and told me she lived in my home town. There was a time when I told her to pick between me and another dude and she picked me. Two days later into the campout she told me she’d want to spend the evening with me, within 10 minutes she had run off with another dude and told me she was actually traveling out east with him and didn’t live in my town. When the other guy came up he had a way of putting his arm around her and drawing her into a circle of people that made it difficult for me to talk to her.
I realize these girls aren’t right for me. I do have some insecurity about girls who are attracted to me choosing another man, that’s how my only relationship ended. I used to not be jealous, thinking if I let girls do what they wanted they would come back to me eventually. Now I am jealous and I believe too domineering when threatened, this solution doesn’t seem to be effective. I know the trick is just to be confident what what specifically can I do in these types of situations? I do have a lot of faith in myself and am not upset up about any of these rejections, I’d just like to stop them in the future.