I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation lately.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that in less than a week, I’m going to be running for my life in order to avoid being devoured by a swarm of flesh-eating zombies.
Stick with me, I’ll be coming back to this.
I bring up motivation because the process of training for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse reminded me a lot of what it was like at the beginning of my journey to get better with women. Which is a bit of an odd comparison but it makes sense when you think about it.
You see, everything is easy and exciting at the very beginning of any project; it’s all new and shiny and full of potential. Your head is swimming with visions of future success, whether it’s outpacing the zombie hordes or surrounding yourself with a harem of incredibly sexy people who think the sun rises and sets in your pants.
Trying to improve your life and get better at dating tends to follow a particular pattern. The early days may be tough, but they’re the sort of difficulty you can surmount without too much effort. In the beginning, it’s everything you’d hoped for and you’re wondering why you never tried this before. The positive feedback you’re getting from the early progress is almost intoxicating…
And then you hit the wall.
Suddenly that gentle difficulty curve you’ve been following has turned into a goddamn cliff. You’re no longer making any progress; hell, you may well be getting worse.
It’s disheartening and discouraging, and it just. Keeps. Happening.
How are you supposed to keep going when you’ve put in all of this effort and you’re still getting nowhere? When you’re racking up rejection after rejection, when every email you send on OKCupid is met with thundering silence and every Saturday night is long dark night of the soul? What incentive do you have to keep trying when all you’re getting is heartache and misery?
How do you keep moving forward when everything inside you is screaming for you to give up, to quit, to let it all go because it’s just never going to work?
You have to know how to push yourself back up and keep moving forward.