Que me, a fifteen year old, 5′ 11″, ~150 pound teenager. I guess you could say I am an introvert who can be extraverted when necessary. I’m not afraid to walk up and talk to someone new. I do have an unusual set of hobbies, though. Bike Riding, Computer Science (Linux, specifically) and Swimming. I have every intention and the passion to pursue IT as my career field. I currently write technology tutorials for a leading cloud hosting company based in New York City. At any rate, I could really use your help keeping my emotional sanity.
I was introduced to the concept of “dating” in my first year of Middle School, resulting in a huge crush and a heartbreak shortly there after. Ever since then, I have been at battle with a vicious cat-and-mouse cycle of crushes, short-lived relationships, heartbreak and (surprisingly severe) depression.
I just moved to a bigger High School this past September and I decided I was going to put in honest effort into finding a new girlfriend, since my latest ex turned into a never-shortening long distance relationship. (We were together for six months, and was a fairly stable and healthy “relationship.” it saddened me a great deal when I realized we weren’t going anywhere because of the distance and had to break it off…) I have pursued a few girls, but I guess I haven’t gotten lucky yet. I’ve found out they either (a) currently have boyfriends, (b) are getting over a breakup (but flirt with other guys while rejecting me at the same time) or (c) thought I was “following them around” when I was simply trying to converse with them.
I’ve read over some of your articles and I think you hit the nail on the head with many of your suggestions. The issue is, I can’t seen to control my emotions to implement the suggestions. I could tell myself, “You have to take a deep breath and let it go,” all night long, but when I have to sit behind said girl that rejected me in class the next morning my brain falls into “depressed, rejected one one will ever like you… ever” mode.
What should I do about this? This is the second or third time my emotions have overloaded me so much that I can’t function properly at school or around anyone somewhat attractive.
PS This probably sounds weird coming from a fifteen year old. I realize that. I state things the way I see it… maybe someday I will look back and realize my stupidity.