This is going to seem like it’s coming out of left field, given how many questions you get are some form of “HOW DO I START HAVING SEX?”, but – honestly – I’m not ready. I want it eventually, but now is not that time. I’ve got my hang-ups and my issues, and they are mine to keep.
I think I’m finally starting to be ready to date – again, lots of reasons why I wasn’t dating before that aren’t important – but I’m not ready for sex yet and I have a feeling that any of the folks I start seeing will expect sex. How do I bring this up? When do I bring this up? I don’t really have much experience in general, but I’m expecting that the person that I’m going to coffee with eventually will want to have sex with me, especially given the questions about whether I’m a top, a bottom, or versatile…
I’m not ready. I will become ready in my own time; that’s not what I need help with. What I need help with is figuring out how to properly communicate it and what to expect when I do so. Should I lay it out in the open early on? Should I wait until sex comes up? Should I even put myself out there if I won’t be putting out?
What should I do?
– Put Out About Putting Out