Dear Doc, I need your help with something. I don’t know if I screwed up or not.
I (24/m/cis) am (or I guess was) dating my girlfriend (23/f/cis) for about six months. Up until two weeks ago, this was the best relationship of my life. We were deep in that whole “honeymoon period” thing you talk about and it seemed like we were just perfect for each other in every way possible. The pando surge meant we had a couple months where we couldn’t see each other but we tried to keep things going over Skype and Facetime. Naturally, this meant we were doing a lot of sexting and stuff and talking about fantasies and stuff. We’re making plans to get together for when things got better and we felt safe seeing each other again and part of that was making plans to… well, get freaky.
Like, actually freaky. My girlfriend was dropping hints about how kinky she was and how much she wanted to try some stuff she’d been reading about and all. Me, I’m decidedly kinky so I’m all in, I’m ready to go, I wanna try. She won’t tell me over Skype tho, she wants to wait until we’re together to tell me what it is. ok sure whatever I’m cool with this.
Well, we get together and she tells me that she’s really into spanking. Like it’s a big deep dark secret and stuff. She wants me to spank her, maybe pull her hair, push her around… I guess she read 50 shades or something I dunno it’s not high on the kink scale to me but I’m down because reasons I’ll get to.
So we’ve got a room, we’re all over each other, it’s great, we get complaints about the noise. And then it all goes bad on me.
After we’re done and we’re laying there and I’m trying to do the whole cool-down/comfort/aftercare thing and she asks me about my kinks.
Doc, I’m kinky too, but I’m a punk looking guy who’s really a service sub and I like things like femdom, forced femme/sissification, forced cross-dressing, and just generally being bossed around and I guess that surprises peoplef. I think I might have a thing for feet too because I get turned on giving foot massages but that may be the service sub thing too I dunno. So like an idiot, I tell her and she blows UP at me. When we were first getting together I was doing things like giving her foot rubs or scalp massages and washing her hair and these are all things I LOVE doing especially when folks demand it from me. But I guess the fact that it turned me on WHILE I do it is bad or something? I don’t really know what the hell happened, all I know is that she’s yelling at me about my dragging her into my kink when I was rubbing her feet and that wasn’t consensual or something. I’m trying to figure out what the big deal is, but every time I either try to explain or ask what she’s talking about she just gets madder and starts going on about how I’m probably not even straight or I think I’m a girl and stealing underwear and she can’t believe this and just leaves.
She’s blocked me on everything so I can’t even apologize but I don’t even know what i’m supposed to apologize for, I guess really enjoying giving other people foot massages when asked or something? I didn’t expect any of that and the way she went off about my being gay and stuff REALLY confused me because what the hell is THAT about?
Anyway Doc i guess I’ll ask what I didn’t want to ask Reddit: am I the asshole here? Did I get dumped because of my kink?
Help?
Sid Vicious In A Dress