So, I have a confession to make: I have a perverse love of weird, dumb or just plain batshit dating advice that gets passed around like golden nuggets of wisdom. This means that Twitter is a bonanza of bullshit to comb through for laughs that range from “wait, this has to be fake” to “oh God you’re serious.”
Now, occasionally this means that you get things like the Green Arrows dude who goes on and on about where people’s junk is pointing.
Other times, however, you get the “How Do You Open” meme. The format is incredibly simple: a would-be nu-PUA guru posts a picture of an attractive woman (usually yanked from Instagram models’ Twitter feeds) with some weird backstory to set the scene. Each ends with the same question: “How do you open?”
These are a series of thought experiments that are intended to get you to apply the poster’s lessons on talking to women, while also goosing the algorithm via cheap engagement. And while their chief value is in the parody posts that are so absurd that you can’t be sure if they’re jokes, I find them kind of fascinating on an anthropological level.
However, the thing that makes these interesting to me is how much they contrast with the number of folks who are terrified of approaching women.
That’s not a joke; I hear from guys all the time who’ve mainlined hundreds of Reddit posts and TikTok videos from women complaining about guys hitting on them. This often gets paired with dudes who go trawling for more “proof” of the “It’s Not Creepy When Brad Pitt Does It” argument.
What makes this interesting to me is that both of these groups have a large stumbling block in common: they get the concept of “approaching” wrong. And to be fair: I’ve made that mistake too. Hell, I’ve promoted many of those mistaken ideas myself. But what’s significant is that these shared misconceptions make it harder to meet women, particularly in person. The issue isn’t that approaching women you find attractive is inherently bad, it’s that their technique, their mindset, even their very conception of “doing approaches”, “opening” or what-have-you is wrong.
So let’s talk about the mistakes men make when approaching women, and how to fix them.