I met one of my best friends in elementary school– he used to be my worst enemy, actually, in that I-will-hate-you-forever kind of way. However, during middle school, we started becoming more friends than enemies, and now we’re both in high school and we have a solid friendship. (We initially bonded over arguments about everything in the nerd spectrum, actually… and still kind of do.)
The problem is that he has a BIG HONKING UNREQUITED CRUSH. On me.
And I don’t want to date him.
The problem is that, ever since we were really little, the entirety of the universe has proclaimed that We Would Make A Cute Couple. Both sets of parents. Pretty much all of our friends, even some of the ones that I have explicitly told “NO I DO NOT WANT TO DATE HIM.” When we were little, both of us said it about the other repeatedly (said crush of his had not, presumably, been in effect by then). I’ve said it in front of him numerous times. When he was little, he said it in front of me numerous times. I continue to say it whenever some of our friends corner us. I say that no, he’s my friend and a nice guy, but I’m not looking for a date right now. Clearly, seriously, politely, and using those exact words.
He, on the other hand, mostly changes the subject.
I’m trying to be nice, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m hitting this guy over the head with it and he’s still doing a lot of things that I don’t want him to do. For example, he’s gotten into the habit of trying to drape himself all over me, like an octopus or a stage curtain. I let it slide the first time because I wasn’t really aware of his BIG HONKING UNREQUITED CRUSH, but then he thought it was OK all the time. Later on I started to shy away from his Yawn-And-Stretch Maneuver arms, as well as pointing it out whenever he tried to do it again (“Dude, you are acting like a possessive octopus.” “Please realize that this should be completely platonic.”) and I thought he finally got the point after it tapered off a little.
Until recently, when he asked if I would like to hold hands with him. I told him no.
(whiny) “Aww, why don’t you just give in?”
This, in particular, set off a Giant Red Flag for me. I told him no, seriously, twice and he then tried to somehow persuade me into holding hands with him??? (For the record: he is not a touchy-feely person with his other friends and I haven’t ever seen him hold hands with any of his other friends.) Please stop it, Friend with Crush.
How do I get this guy to get the point that no I do not want to date him? I have basically hit him over the head with it, but he won’t stop trying.
— Gamer Girl Needs a Break!