Most of you aren’t social enough.
Sorry. Didn’t really want to drop it on you cold, but there really isn’t any gentle way to go about it. I know that a number of you have been trying the exercises that I recommended for making talking to women a part of your daily lives, but there are far too many among you who linger in the fringes of a social gathering, hoping that there will be a chance to get the woman you like alone.
And let’s not talk about those of you who go to parties or bars and spend all of your time quietly nursing a drink, feeling awkward about the fact that you know barely anybody there. Because I know there are plenty of you too, little bundles of social awkwardness wishing that you were anywhere else and desperately hoping for someone you know to show up and rescue from this convivial hell.
Of course, there’s always the other solution. You could always start getting to know the people around you.
Look, cold hard truth time. You can’t just stick to talking to people you know or to the limited areas where you feel comfortable. You will have to make small-talk with strangers, whether it’s your girlfriend’s family or your fellow cubicle farmers at work. You don’t need to be the life of the party, but you do need to learn how to make small talk. Let’s be honest: whether you’re at a party, at a bar or killing time in line waiting for the show to start, nobody wants to talk to Johnny O’Sullen glowering by himself in the corner. They all much prefer the friendly, charming guy who seems to be genuinely interested in getting to know people.
So it’s time to start learning how to talk to anyone.