Hey Doc, I REALLY need your help. I’m begging you…
I’m going to cut to the chase. I suffer mental illness and boy did it fuck up my past relationship.
I was with a guy from Canada for 2 1/2 years so I already had THAT against me being an American. While I admittedly had a lot of body image issues before we dated and I gave him the heads up..he accepted and we decided to start dating anyways. The problem was… dating this guy was a mistake… because he was emotionally abusive.
He pushed me to give nude photos a lot, told me if I didn’t strip for him I didn’t love him, made fun of my weight… stuff like that. I don’t even feel like going into the rest… Generally this made me WORSE but I was too stupid to break up with this guy. In return I did bad things too.. I regret constantly bothering him to talk me out of suicide and cry that if he left me I’d kill myself. I was very sick. I regret it all so much now and if I could apologize from the bottom of my heart… I would if I could. My parents weren’t taking me seriously at all during the time to get me ANY real help until it was far too late.
After he broke up with me due to the stress of my mental illness I went off the wall and constantly harassed him over the phone to talk to me. At first it was because I missed him. But then it was anger over all the abuse in the beginning (there’s more but I don’t want to go in any further)
It got back to me from my old friends after a huge fallout I was labeled a “stalker” I guess I deserved this.
After 5 suicide attempts my parents finally took me seriously and got me help. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
I’m currently getting help and making a lot of progress but this leads me to ask..is there any hope for me in the dating world? Let’s be real. I REALLY fucked up and I was obviously very, very sick. I was so scared of dying alone I recently drank bleach just to end it all. So instead of wanting to die anymore.. why not keep trying to be mentally stable? but what the FUCK do I do doc? I can get better all I want but whose going to want a crazy like me?
– mentally unstable