There is probably nothing more stress inducing, more nerve-wracking or fear-sweat triggering than the first kiss.
Outside of “How do I meet girls?”, “when should you kiss her” is easily the most common dating question I get.
It’s an area where just about everyone feels some sort of anxiety because there are just so many unknowns oh my godohmygodohmygod. “When do I kiss her? How should I kiss her? Do I ask first or just go for it? When’s the perfect moment? What am I supposed to look out for? Oh God, what if I get the cheek? What if she freaks out and calls me creepy?1 What if she tells all her friends? And they tell all of their friends? Oh Jesus, I’ll never date in this town again, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO MOVE?!?!?!”
Chill the fuck out, Beavis.
That’s why I’m here. To walk you through all this confusing shit and teach you that when you just need to shut up and kiss the girl.
- Side note: this almost never happens. I say almost because if I say “it never happens” inevitably somebody is going to show up in the comments with a story about how it happened to them. Regardless: it’s about as likely as it is for me to hit the Texas Mega-Millions tonight. [↩]