Hi Dr Nerd Love.
I met a girl some months ago who’s brilliant – there is almost nothing I don’t like about her and we hit it off brilliantly. Because she was out of the country a lot etc we couldn’t meet up often and so, after a few meets and talking constantly by phone/text we finally slept together a few weeks ago.
The day after that we met up and I got told that she was not quite over her ex from a few years ago (which I know from talking to her, she isn’t) and that that has ruined her relationships since. She didn’t want to hurt me in the same way and so couldn’t do a relationship right now. I thought it was a brush off and left thinking that was that.
The weird thing is – she still talks to me every day. She tells me I’m funny and the only one who gets her, she sent me a photo of a text conversation with a guy she’d tried to be with last year that fell apart because of her ex (in case I didn’t believe her story) and has told me stuff about her past that she has apparently told no one else. To be frank I sometimes feel like a boyfriend in all but name. I flirt with her occasionally and she seems cool with it, but she still talks to me about how other guys try to flirt with her (before she tells me how she doesn’t want a relationship with anyone and so they can get lost).
I’m at the point now where part of me naively believes her story and hopes I can get out of this weird friend zone. Were it anyone else I’d have walked away by now but I really like her. For the time being I can do the friend thing but eventually I’m gonna have to try again. I guess what I’m asking is – what do you think is going on here and is there any hope?
In The Zone