Hi there Doc was hoping you could give me some advice.
I’m a 20 year old student that has almost no dating experience at all. I’ve only just recently started to get more serious about dating but so far I have had very little success. Basically until recently I was a very shy and quiet person who kept to himself most of the time but once I started working in retail I started to become a much more social person.
I certainly do go out a lot more and have made a lot more friends in the past year then i ever had in most of my school years. This includes both boys and girls. However most of my friends are guys and the girls themselves are now in relationships.
The thing is my lack of dating and relationship experience is really starting to get to me and I’ve been feeling down. Not so much depressed but more frustrated. I blame myself for what’s happened and usually end up ripping myself apart. The thing is most of my friends seem to have no problems with getting girls which I’ve seen firsthand. I won’t lie that this makes my self esteem just plummet and the negative thoughts all come back. I tell myself I will never be that good or even worse that girl’s hate me and I will be alone forever. Yeah I know that getting a girlfriend will not sort everything out or make my life perfect but at the same time I just feel stuck in a rut. This also affects me when I go out as I tend not to enjoy myself. When this happens I tend to go real quiet and get lost in my thoughts. Especially the last few times where my friends ended up spending the night with girls while I was alone.
I know the process of improving is slow but right now it feels like nothing is changing while everyone else seems to have no problem or are improving really fast. So yeah was wondering if you had some advice for getting out this rut and enjoying what i do have a bit more and actually approach dating and all that with a lot less fear and shame.
Going Nowhere Fast