As I’ve said before: those profile photos may help, but women are going to be judging you by what you say just as much – if not more – than what you look like. Your dating profile is a glimpse into who you are and what women can expect if they decide to go on a date with you. Remember: every woman who views your profile will asking herself: “What would my life be like if this person were my boyfriend?”
Needless to say, if you don’t know how to make your life interesting and attractive… well, you’re going to be spending more time yelling out into the empty void instead of having your inbox filling up with responses from attractive women who want to get to know you better.
So whether you’re creating your first profile or revising a pre-existing one, you owe it to yourself to check in and see just what women think of Bachelor #2.
How It Works
As I said before: I picked out two
victims volunteers whose profiles work well for my instructional purposes. All information provided to the judges was strictly anonymous; no personally identifying information, including names, usernames or photos had been included, nor have I provided any commentary or instructions. Both profiles use the OK Cupid profile format. All spelling errors and typos in the original profile are included without correction.
Today we feature the second of the two chosen profiles, who provides a different sort of experience from Bachelor #1. While Bachelor #1 had a great deal of work that needed doing, Bachelor #2 has a different issue: the “Enh, decent enough” profile that could use some polish to really get people’s attention.
Meet Your Judges:
As before, I reached out to several women of my acquaintance in order to gain a spectrum of ages and occupations, as well as varying levels of experience with regards to online dating.
Gentlemen, I present to you, your judges.
Amanda – 24, Production Assistant
Jennifer – 32, Web Tech
Catherine – 35, Librarian
Trisha Lynn – 34, Administrative Assistant
Caroline – 31, Teacher
Kelly – 26, Massage Therapist
But enough from me. It’s time to hear from Bachelor #2 and unleash hell:
My Self Summary:
Alright, I figure I should finally fill this out. I’m a guy who was born in Germany, moved to Austria when he was 8, lived in Switzerland for three years and is now living in the US.
Kelly: Uh oh, a man from another country, you’ll get all the american girl panties in a knot just with that.
Jennifer: Starting off with a flag that you’re a procrastinator. Not a good way to reel a woman in. Also, ditch the third person.
Catherine: Yup. A procrastinator means I’m already saying “NEXT!” Which is a shame, because the international angle is attractive…
Trisha Lynn: Well-traveled, and honest. Very promising start.
I’m somewhat shy, which is why I’m on okcupid 😉
I <3 San Francisco. Best place I ever lived. Great people, good climate, no snow. I do like to snowboard, but that’s what Lake Tahoe is for!
Catherine: You <3 San Francisco? Do you <3 textspeak?
Caroline: This is not super personal. The traveling sounds interesting. I wonder if you were good at moving and making friends. You like to snowboard. That’s cool. What else do you like?
Jennifer: There’s not much to go on here. There’s a lot of great potential in a guy who has lived in four different countries, but there’s nothing here to work with.
Amanda: I agree. It’s short and to the point. It works well, but it’s a little bare. I would like to start off with more info than just the places you lived.
What I’m doing with my life
Like so many people in the bay area, I’m a software engineer working for a major internet company.
Trisha Lynn: Ooh, gainfully employed. Sounding even better.
I am also involved in open source, mostly in Firefox. I like to snowboard, swim and rock climb (mostly indoors, but I have climbed real rocks a few times). Also to read the internet. (READ ALL THE INTERNETS).
Kelly: There’s something about a guy who isn’t a slave to his job. As in, if you work all day at a desk, and actually get out and do active things when you’re not working, it’s an attractive quality, and makes one think perhaps you’d have a fun idea for a date (if a girls open to outdoorsy stuff that is) Too many folks live in a cubicle of their own creation at work and at home. Love the hyperboleandahalf reference.
Trisha Lynn: Oh yes. Bonus points for reading Hyperbole and a Half.
Traveling is also fun. Mostly I’ve been to North America and lots of places in Europe. I do need to see more of the US.
Caroline: This says a little more. I get a sense that you would take me rock climbing or we’d go outside to do something active. The traveling also sounds fun. You don’t sound passionate about your job, which is fine. Do you plan on working in your current field forever? It’s cool if it’s a means to an end too.
Jennifer: Job = good. Do you like it? Have future plans for it? Want to take over the company?
Travel = good. Where have you been? What’s you favorite place? Do you go for the food? The rock climbing? The beaches? Work with me here!
Amanda: Again you’re not saying a whole lot, but what you’re saying works.
Trisha Lynn: Agreed. This would lead to me to fantasizing about being the person to go traveling with him. Well played, good sir.
I’m Really Good At
Writing software. Dressing like a nerd. Ranting about US public transit and the US banking system.
Kelly: Uh Oh. I smell a hipster. Now I’m bummed.
Catherine: I’m wondering if he’s a nerd or a hipster… hipster nerd?
Amanda: Do you really rant about the US Banking and Public Transit system so much that you’re really good at it? This is something I would consider a negative while reading your profile because I wouldn’t want to go out with someone that spends a lot of time complaining.
Caroline: You’re good at dressing like a nerd? If this is meant to be a disparaging comment, omit it. I know you’re shy, but is there anything else we can learn about you?
The First Things People Usually Notice About Me:
Dunno. You tell me. I’ve been told I have the accent of a James Bond villain.
Jennifer: *twitch* No, YOU are supposed to tell US.
Amanda: I hate the “I don’t know you tell me.” answer. It’s lazy and it makes you look bad in my eyes. You don’t know what people notice first about you? Is it because you’re easy to pass by? There’s always something that will draw attention to you. When you say that people say you have the voice of a James Bond villain I think that’s great and would prefer you only said that.
Kelly: Makes me want to hear it!
Trisha Lynn: Foreign accents? *SWOON*
Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, And Food:
Books: Mostly science fiction, but I do also like Terry Pratchett. Lately I’ve also read books about finance/investing, surprisingly interesting.
Caroline: Get more into this. Why is finance interesting?
Amanda: Talking about financing/investing books is a major snore-fest, but I get that it’s something you’re into so I wont begrudge you for it.
Movies: Hm, tricky. I like lots of different types of movies. My favorites range from “Miss Pettigrew lives for a day” over “Coyote Ugly” to “Fahrenheit 451”. “Intolerable Cruelty” was great; so was “Hunt for Red October”. I liked “The Thomas Crown Affair” and “Entrapment”. I have no idea how to summarize my taste!
Jennifer: See, detail! Was that so hard? This list shows a nice range of tastes without requiring you come up with a word to summarize your taste.
Caroline: Yes. This is nice– open and personal.
Music: Rock & Roll of various sorts.
Trisha Lynn: The kinds of rock music is important, y’know.
Food… I like lots of food. Mexican, Italian, French, German (of course), etc. I dislike seafood, though.
Trisha Lynn: Ooh, minus points for not liking seafood.
Jennifer: I’d pass over any guy who hated seafood, but I’m Cajun. It’s probably a good thing to mention if it’s something that you’re serious about.
Six Things I Could Never Do Without:
A computer (or smartphone)
Steak and cocktails
Internet sites asking me to make lists of things I can’t do without
Jennifer: Books, friends, food… Dirty… jokes? Wait, what?
Trisha Lynn: I think he tried to make a joke in the last one, but it fell flat.
Caroline: The last line’s a cop-out. What matters to you?
Kelly: That last one is a little overdone, but I’ll take it. Steak and cocktails? That lead to the one after it, didn’t it?
On a Typical Friday Night, I Am:
Weekend! Time to relax!
Caroline: What does relaxing look like? Do you prefer to go out or stay in? Women want to know these things!
Jennifer: Doing what? Details, man, DETAILS.
The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit:
If I admitted it, it wouldn’t be private!
Jennifer:Guh. Honestly, do you know how many profiles have a version of this joke? Pick something.
Caroline: You can’t say anything that’s a little personal– not an opinion or even how you take your coffee? Do you secretly consider cereal a legitimate meal for dinner or always turn the lights off after leaving a room every single time? Show something small and human, and crack the door for someone to know you.
Kelly: Seriously, just take the damn time to write something here, people. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering. You should sell yourself in the rest of the profile so that someone wants to know more, and when you get to this section, you should be able to easily seduce them into thinking they’re special for learning a secret about you. Women are easily manipulated that way!
Trisha Lynn: Seriously, a little bit of vulnerability is nice.
You Should Message Me If:
if I look interesting to you.
Caroline: Come on. This is a chance to say a little about what you like in a girl. Are there any qualities that are important to you?
Well, there you go, Bachelor #2. With luck, this will help you shape things up and you’ll be enjoying more online dating successes. But before we go, would the judges like to add anything else?
Catherine: Well, he’s got my attention… Well-rounded, educated, and seems to have a good sense of humor.
Trisha Lynn: Really? Honestly, it could have ended better. It was looking so strong, too!
Kelly: Overall, there isn’t anything terribly wrong here, but nothing really stands out over the crowd either, except perhaps that I’d date a James Bond villain. Which admittedly, sounds pretty awesome.
Jennifer: It seems to me that this guy wants his knowledge of internet memes to do the talking for him. Everything else is pretty sparse. There’s not much in the profile to be interested in, let alone to drop the guy a line about.
Amanda: I feel like I only get a hint of who you are from this and I’m not sure it’s enough to peak my interest. I think you need to let your personality show on your profile just a little bit more. I think loosening up a bit will make any girl that sees your profile be more inclined to send you a message.
Do you have advice for Bachelor #2? Questions for the esteemed panel of judges? Ask away in the comments section! And don’t forget to like the Dr. NerdLove Facebook page and let me know if you want this to be a recurring features!