Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I Too Fat To Date?

Ask Dr. NerdLove

Dear Doctor,  I’m not really sure how this works, but a girl in my econometrics class referred me to you. You’re also the only dating coach not on a hate group watch list.  I guess I’ll start with some background and follow with my problem. I’m am 23 and in my last semester of college. I [...]

Dump Your Toxic Friends

"Hey, bro! Got any shreds of self-esteem I can destroy today?"

There’s a quote attributed to Steven Winterburn that I like: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” I find that many of the people I coach need to do this sort of examination, because we all tend to have a specific blindspot [...]

How To Deal With Jealousy

How To Deal With Jealousy

Back in the bad old days, I did a lot of things I regret out of jealousy. Pretty much from middle-school onwards, jealousy defined the majority of my waking life. Everywhere I looked, other people had what I thought I wanted in life. Watching happy couples would alternately make me feel lonely and almost sick with envy. [...]

How To Not Be Creepy

How To Not Be Creepy

As Creep Week comes to a close again and we all start to feel like it’s safe to get back into the dating pool, I want to talk about the fear of being labeled “creepy”. There are a lot of people – mostly the socially inexperienced – who worry about being called “creepy” by women and [...]

Finding True Confidence

There is, however, a noted correlation between popped collars and the transition from "confident" to "douchebag".

Straight talk time: confidence is sexy. Someone who lacks confidence – even if he looks like a GQ cover model – is going to be considerably less attractive than someone who may not have perfect facial features but does have abundant self-esteem. This isn’t just “rah rah self-esteem” feel-good bullshit; confidence actually alters how people see you. In a [...]