What’s Wrong With “Taking The Red Pill”

"Take the red pill and spend a LOT of time yelling on the Internet."

You may have noticed over the years that I cover a lot of topics that don’t seem to fit squarely in this blog’s mission statement of helping nerds date better. One of the reasons why I write about feminist issues or bad behavior within the geek community is because, frankly, getting better at dating is a holistic system. As I’m fond [...]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I Too Fat To Date?

Ask Dr. NerdLove

Dear Doctor,  I’m not really sure how this works, but a girl in my econometrics class referred me to you. You’re also the only dating coach not on a hate group watch list.  I guess I’ll start with some background and follow with my problem. I’m am 23 and in my last semester of college. I [...]

Dump Your Toxic Friends

"Hey, bro! Got any shreds of self-esteem I can destroy today?"

There’s a quote attributed to Steven Winterburn that I like: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” I find that many of the people I coach need to do this sort of examination, because we all tend to have a specific blindspot [...]

How To Deal With Jealousy

How To Deal With Jealousy

Back in the bad old days, I did a lot of things I regret out of jealousy. Pretty much from middle-school onwards, jealousy defined the majority of my waking life. Everywhere I looked, other people had what I thought I wanted in life. Watching happy couples would alternately make me feel lonely and almost sick with envy. [...]

How To Not Be Creepy

How To Not Be Creepy

As Creep Week comes to a close again and we all start to feel like it’s safe to get back into the dating pool, I want to talk about the fear of being labeled “creepy”. There are a lot of people – mostly the socially inexperienced – who worry about being called “creepy” by women and [...]