Read Her Body
The human body is incredibly expressive; we can convey emotional states, complex concepts, even sexual interest with just the position of our bodies and limbs. Women will give far more information via body language than almost any other signal.
The first and biggest sign is to look for is open or closed body positioning. A woman who is interested in you and who is comfortable in your presence will have more open body language; that is, she will be sitting up straighter, orienting herself towards you and leaving her arms and legs uncrossed. On the other hand, a woman with closed body language – pointing herself away from you, crossing her arms across her chest, hunching in or taking up less space – is trying to tell you that she’s closed off to you.
You also want to look for where her body is pointing. Humans tend to be goal focused and we will frequently orient ourselves in the direction of what we’re interested in whether its the buffet, a sexy stranger, or a speedy exit. If she’s pointing herself at you – especially with her knees and feet – she’s interested in you. Pointing away from you, on the other hand, is an indication that she’s bored or annoyed by you; she’s putting herself into a position where it’s easy to get up and move on.
If you find that the woman you’re talking to is mirroring your actions – she takes a sip of her drink when you take one of yours, when you cross your legs and lean to one side, so does she – it’s a strong signal that she likes you. We tend to like people who are similar to us; adopting the same body language – known as the chameleon effect – as the person we’re interested in is a way of helping to trigger that feeling. Mirroring the body language of others is a way of enhancing rapport and fostering a feeling of comfort and familiarity.
Mimicry is also a sign that the person you’re talking to is paying close attention to what you have to say; the more absorbed she is in what you’re saying, the more likely she is to mimic you unconsciously.
Interestingly, much like the time-dilation effect, the affection and warm feelings that mimicry brings seems to work both ways; both the mimic and the person being copied find that they’re subtly encouraged to like the other person more.
Is She Fidgeting?
There are two types of nervousness when it comes to dating. There’s the “Oh God, I think he’s going to tell me to rub the lotion on my skin” nervousness that comes from being creeped out and the “Oh God he’s hot, do I have something in my teeth, shit, what about my breath, do I have any gum, please Jesus tell me I didn’t put on my ugly underwear today” nervousness that comes from being attracted to the person you’re talking to. Both women and men tend to unconsciously indulge in what’s known as “preening” behavior when they’re interested in somebody; these are little gestures and movements aimed at trying to groom themselves a little and presenting a better, more attractive display.
In women this most often manifests in playing with her hair, whether it’s hair tossing or twirling it around her fingers. Tossing the hair draws attention to the face and especially the neck and shoulders – two areas that are especially sensitive during foreplay. Twirling or absentmindedly playing with her hair meanwhile, is an unconscious way of drawing attention to it; the unspoken intent is to reinforce her femininity and desirability. It also helps show off her hair itself, a subtle indication of health and genetic potential.
Other signs of attraction include leg crossing. Many people will repeatedly cross and uncross their legs when they start feeling anxious or nervous; being attracted to someone can make them squirm in their seat at times. Much like with watching for orientation and pointing, how she’s crossing her legs can be a clue. A woman who’s interested in you is more likely to point her upper leg in your direction – the better with which to show off her gams to their best advantage. It’s a subtle sign, but one worth looking for.
Other signs of attraction-based nerves involve calling attention to her mouth. Lip licking – the “my mouth is dry” kind, not the Basic Instinct type – is a frequent sign of interest. Excitement tends to cause our mouths to go dry. Similarly one’s lip calls a man’s eyes to her lips – another visible reminder of her femininity as well as one that prompts men to think about kissing.
Signs It’s Time To Go
Being able to read her signs is a great way of knowing just how you’re doing. Someone who’s growing more attracted to you will laugh at your jokes – even your dumb ones – and will start edging into your personal space by leaning in as she pays attention and asks questions.
At the same time, a woman will often use signs to tell you that she’d rather you didn’t come talk to her at all. If you’re approaching a woman and she starts to turn her torso to face away from you or she steps back, she’s trying to send a signal that no, she doesn’t want to talk to you. When she starts to act fidgety – in that twitchy, “too much nervous energy building up” sort of way and she’s becoming increasingly curt as she talks to you, she’s wishing you would catch a hint already and realize that she’d prefer you walk away, but doesn’t necessarily want to cause a scene by telling you so directly.
When you start getting the “go away” signs from a woman, the best thing you can do is mercy kill the whole interaction. Make up a reason to leave, say “it was nice talking to you” and just move on to talk to somebody else… someone who’s been giving you the come-hither signs.
The Better You Can Read, The More You Will Succede
Approaching women can be nerve-wracking; the feeling of uncertainty whether she would be interested in getting to know you or not is enough to cause actual anxiety attacks in men. But if you can learn to read her signs, you will be better prepared to tell who is receptive to meeting you and who would rather be left alone. Learning to read the clues that women give guys is like a cheat code; once you know what you’re looking for, you can approach new, awesome people with confidence instead of crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. It takes practice; some of these signs are subtle and easy to miss while others can be misinterpreted if you aren’t careful. But once you learn her signs, you won’t have to worry about making the wrong move or overstaying your welcome.