I would like to ask your opinion on my situation in my relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, and everything was great at first until she started having troubles at home.
I tried to help her but she refused help from me, saying that she could take care of it herself. She started confiding in a new friend she had made in school instead of talking to me. She eventually ended up cheating on me after our engagement and forced me to stay, saying that she needed the both of us to help her get through her problems.
She eventually started using me as a way to let out her anger and then she realized that he was only in it for the physical side of the relationship. After I had gotten the courage to leave her, she convinced me to come back and it seemed that she was back to normal. Then after I started showing suspicion of her actions again a year later, we started arguing a lot and she eventually forced me to let her cheat on me again, and even tried to force me into an unwanted sexual situation. I regrettably left her after that, but she wouldn’t let me move on and still kept using me for her anger. Its two years later, and I have fallen into a rather bad depression, been professionally diagnosed with emotional PTSD, and went through two instances of her cheating on me online.
I’m constantly on edge with her and she never comes to visit me anymore. She even told me she would rather spend time with her neighbor, her son, and her polyamorous mother’s boyfriend and his friends than me, but she still keeps me around for random moments of talking and telling me about her problems. She tells me that she loves me but I don’t know whether to believe her and I’m always suspicious of her. She said that her cheating was a combination of mine and her abusive step father; but mostly my fault for “being too controlling and demanding of her” when all I did was try and spend as much time with her and take an interest in what all she liked to do.
I admit that I would get angry because some of her actions, and I easily get jealous of the guys she talks to. But I never yelled at her or hurt her. I eventually stopped telling her about my problems and tried to just focus on her but now she says that I’m difficult to talk to and that I don’t seem like my old self.
When I explain why after she pesters me about it, she gets angry and says I need to quit doubting her and she isn’t cheating and what happened is my fault.
What should I do? I love her more than anything but I don’t know what to think anymore.
Lost In A Fog