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Understand The Difference Between Niceness and Actual Interest
Sometimes guys, especially under-socialized guys, will mistake niceness for flirting. Women are taught to be polite and to show some polite interest in what others have to say; some guys will misread this as genuine interest. Some women are naturally flirty or have learned that a little flirtatiousness can win them some extra effort or attention from men. This can be especially true when involving women in retail or the service industry; women know that flirty behavior usually leads to larger tips from men, while men assume that the bartender/waitress/barista serving them their morning latte are actually interested in them romantically or sexually. As a result, the women get hit on and asked out repeatedly and the men wind up confused and frustrated.
To save yourself this frustration, examine the situation.
Does She Flirt Professionally?
Certain careers in the service industry encourage flirting with the customers. Call it Flirting For Dollars. It entices men to keep coming back and encourages the stupider ones to think that they can buy her affections by throwing money her way. The odds that she’s fallen for you, after literally hundreds of others have failed to win her heart is spectacularly low. If she’s a stripper, a go-go dancer, a shot girl, a bartender, cocktail waitress or a waitress at certain types of restaurants (Hooters, Twin Peaks, etc) then your default assumption is no, she does not really like you. Enjoy the flirting for flirting’s sake and move on.
Is She Qualifying Herself?
Women will naturally ask you about yourself; it’s part of being polite. A woman who’s into you however, will volunteer more about herself. She will want you to know she’s a cool person as well. She’ll want you to understand how she stands out from other women you know or just why she’s special. She’ll go out of her way to brag about herself a little. If she doesn’t bring up her own life without prompting or isn’t trying to find commonalities (i.e. “You like Amanda Conner’s run on Power Girl too? That’s so cool!”), the odds are good she’s being nice.
Is She Pumping You For Information?
If she really likes you, she’ll want to know if you’re single or not. She’ll work the theoretical existence of your girlfriend/wife into conversation, or make probing jokes about your dating life. If she doesn’t? She probably isn’t too worried about it.
Is She Going Out Of Her Way To Talk To You?
It’s one thing if she’s laughing at your jokes when you’re heading up to the counter to place your order; it’s another entirely if she’s making a point of talking to you. The more that she’s actually making an effort to talk to you, the more likely it is she likes you.
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