First of all thank you for running this site. It has been a great help to me in figuring out my social life and in learning to make better decisions in my love life.
I have been in a long distance relationship with my current girlfriend for about a year and it’s my first serious relationship (not hers). Pretty much everything was great for the first few months and even though we had difficulties with the long distance, we managed to make it work and generally had a good time.
Lately it feels like the “new relationship energy”, atleast in the physical aspect, has gone from our relationship. Previously, we would pretty much have sex like rabbits every time we saw each other. Nowadays the frequency has dropped to maybe 2-3 times when we get to see each other for a week/long weekend after being apart for a month or so.
I understand that this is natural in a relationship and that people’s libidos can vary greatly over time but I can’t help feeling frustrated. After a few weeks of not seeing her, the first thing I want to do is tear her clothes off and that just doesn’t seem to be a priority for her anymore.
We’ve talked about this and she seems to understand where I’m coming from but says that she doesn’t feel like it if she feels pressured to just have more sex. I get what she means because I tend to show my frustrations fairly clearly. She also feels that it’s natural for sex to ebb and flow but I feel like she isn’t taking into account the long distance nature of the relationship. We have basically agreed to work on me not pressuring her so much and her trying to improve the frequency,
The problem is that she has a tendency to discuss issues in our relationship, come to an agreement and never act on them. I understand what I have to do and try and make an effort to do so but sometimes it feels like she does not. Additionally, talking to her about any issue in the relationship is like pulling teeth. She’ll shut down with anger and just not talk about the problem for days and leave it unresolved until it inevitably comes up again. Everything else with her is great, to the point that I have seriously considered settling down with her and I really wish I didn’t feel like this. Sometimes it makes me wonder if this long distance is worth it and if I should just call it quits. What should I do?
Just One Thing