Online Dating Archives

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Stop Feeling Helpless?

November 18, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 46 Comments

Heya, Doc; maybe you can help snap me out of this funk I’ve been feeling.

Basically, with the results of election night now in hand, I feel like the entire world’s just stopped making sense and the country is going to get nuked within the next four years. I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to date for years now, and admittedly my game is pretty terrible. I guess the best way to describe it, I feel like I’ve been playing a game and now someone has suddenly jumped up the difficulty; it’s hard for me to imagine myself being happy with someone or even trying to find someone with the world feeling like it’s getting ready to fall apart.

I am pretty happy with how my life is and I’m pretty cool with being single. I guess being together with someone once would have been nice for the bucket list XD.

The-End-is-TBA [Read more…]

Your Guide To Mastering Tinder

June 20, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 298 Comments

Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or Dragonfruit1 can be amazing tools for making the most of your online dating experience. Sure, you may have sunk not inconsiderable time into your OKCupid profile and making sure you’ve maximized your compatibility with as many matches as possible, but not all of your potential Internet paramours are going to be on traditional dating sites. At the same time however, Tinder can be a different, more frustrating beast and one that a lot of guys never get the hang of. After all, the last thing you want is to put in all that effort just to never get any matches.

Really, do you need your dating app to tell you you're unlovable too? — Really, do you need your dating app to tell you you’re unlovable too?

If you’re going to use Tinder, you have to know how to use it right. Here’s how you avoid the mistakes that make women skip over you and develop a profile that’ll get more matches than you know what to do with.

[Read more…]

Full disclosure: I know the owner of DragonFruit and have been on panels with DragonFruit staff [↩]

How To Get Laid (Without Being A Fuckboy)

January 25, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 501 Comments

If you’ve spent, oh, any time online, you’ll have come across the term “Fuckboy”, especially when it comes to dating. In one of the more fascinating (if you like semiotics and lexicography) examples of linguistic migration, fuckboy was first popularized by Cam’ron in the song “Boy, Boy” and spread out from there to other artists’ work. And then it hit social media and basically fucking exploded all over the place. In general, a fuckboy is someone who’s lame, a scrub. When it comes to dating… well, it’s these guys.

Nothing like someone who fancies himself to be a real-life Christian Grey…	“So after I neg you, we go straight to the blowjobs, right?”
Oh the wit. The poetry. The romance…	Dunno, chucklefuck, maybe you should’ve found that out first?
screenshots via 40yrolddater and fuckboyfiles

Fuckboys are the bane of online dating. Fuckboys are warnings to others: this is the behavior that ensures you will never have sex, even with yourself. The thing isn’t that they’re trying to get laid, or that they’re angling for some no-strings-attached sexy times. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is the way they go about it. They’re the douchebags who make women shut down their accounts and reconsider the possibility of celibacy. They’re one of the reasons why it’s trickier for guys to get laid than it has to be, because they’re the ones who’re causing vaginas to dry up and panties to lock firmly into place.

If you’re looking for a Tinder hook up, a friends-with-benefits situation, a strings-free fling when you’re out of town or a same-night lay, then you need to understand what makes a fuckboy and how to avoid being one.

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New From NerdLove Publications: When It Clicks – The Guide To Mastering Online Dating!

July 8, 2015 by Dr. NerdLove 19 Comments

SDCC is about to begin, with nerds and geeks from around the world converging on San Diego as we speak. Geeky energy is in the air today, ya’ll. I couldn’t make it to Comic-Con in person this year… but hey that just means you all get to hear this now instead of it being a con exclusive! I’m incredibly excited to announce that my latest ebook “When It Clicks: The Guide To Mastering Online Dating” is now available for you, exclusively from Amazon.com!

When It Clicks collects and updates all of the information you need to make dating sites work for you. Whether you’re looking for a hook-up on Tinder or the relationship of your dreams on OKCupid or Match, this is the book for you. I walk you through:

Picking the dating site that’s right for you – are there benefits to paying for the A-list on OKCupid?
How to write a profile that gets the right kind of attention and makes people stop to check you out
Why women don’t write back to 99.999% of the men who write them… and why they’ll respond to you
How to take the perfect online dating profile photo

And so much more.

If you check out the book, do me a solid: consider leaving a review on Amazon, reviewing it on Goodreads, and sharing http://amzn.to/1CotaiG with your friends who might need some help with their online dating life. And while you’re there: my other ebook, Simplified Dating is going to be on sale starting Friday. Call it the SDCC discount!

Plus, just to get you hyped: mark down August 11th on your calendars. That’s when the big one drops, the one people have been asking me for since the beginning. All I’m saying for now…

And thanks guys. I couldn’t do it without you.

5 Critical Online Dating Questions Answered

May 4, 2015 by Dr. NerdLove 937 Comments

Despite being more popular than ever, online dating still remains a potential minefield for social etiquette and self-esteem. The “rules” of online dating are, for the most part, unspecified and unspoken and prone to change without any seeming warning. What seems like a simple, intuitive choice can make the difference between a happy first date and echoing silence in your inbox. And with the constant deluge of hook-up aps like Tinder and Grindr, alternative dating sites like Coffee Meets Bagel and Why Don’t We and non-standard sites like MeetUp, the do’s and don’ts of online dating get more confusing and convoluted than a Choose Your Own Adventure edition of House of Leaves.

"I don't get it. We both swiped right; why are they so upset when I ask about their bra sizes?" — “I don’t get it. We both swiped right; why are they so upset when I ask about their bra sizes?”

But that’s why I’m here: to help you cut through the Gordian knot of online dating mysteries. I reached out to the NerdLove readership on Facebook and Twitter to answer some of the most perplexing frequently asked online dating questions.

[Read more…]